Michael Stipe calls the Rock & Roll Crisis Line, part 1

MOE (counselor): Rock & Roll Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
MICHAEL STIPE (caller): I’m pushing an elephant up the stairs.
MOE: Uh…
STIPE: I’m tossing out punch lines
MOE: Right. Uh…don’t stand too close behind an elephant.
STIPE: that were never there.
MOE: It’s a good place not to be. It could get messy.
STIPE: Over my shoulder
MOE: Your shoulder, your face, everywhere.
STIPE: a piano falls
MOE: Wait, are you describing a dream?
STIPE: crashing to the ground.
MOE: Because that sounds a bit like a REM state.

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