The Founding Fathers call the Poetry Crisis Line

PATIENCE (counselor): Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
FOUNDING FATHERS (callers, on conference line): We the People
PATIENCE: Which people?
FOUNDERS: Of the United States
PATIENCE: Where, specifically?
FOUNDERS: In order
PATIENCE: What are you standing in line for?
FOUNDERS: To form a more perfect union
PATIENCE: Uh…relationship counseling?

On this date in 1787, the US Constitution was signed.

 

Also on this date, in 1859, Joshua Norton declared himself Emperor of the United States of America.

find out more about Emperor Norton here.

For additional reading, check out Allegiance to a Dead Man, by Sara M. Harvey.