Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
CALLER: ‘Twas the night before Christmas,
COUNSELOR: Yes, the holidays can be a stressful time.
COUNSELOR: You know, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s. They can be a lot of fun, but the preparations can be difficult for some people.
CALLER: all through the house
COUNSELOR: For everyone? You might consider a low-key celebration instead of running your family ragged beforehand.
CALLER: Not a creature was stirring,
COUNSELOR: That’s not unusual. If everyone’s as frazzled as you say, then it’s healthy to take a rest.
CALLER: not even a mouse;
COUNSELOR: Now, that’s cause for concern. If the animals are also lethargic, you might want to look for an external cause.
CALLER: The stockings were hung
COUNSELOR: I don’t think that’s it. No matter how bad your socks smell, they aren’t likely to–
CALLER: by the chimney
COUNSELOR: That could be a problem. Have you lit a fire in the fireplace?
CALLER: with care,
COUNSELOR: I’m glad you’re practicing fire safety, sir, but have you had your chimney cleaned recently? A blocked flue could lead to carbon monoxide in your house. Especially if you haven’t used the fireplace in a long time, like if you lit the fire as a special holiday treat, or–
CALLER: In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
COUNSELOR: Now that’s just twisted