Robert Burns calls the Poetry Crisis Line

Happy 262nd birthday to Robert Burns! This would have been our second apolitical post this month, if Bernie hadn’t photobombed the featured image.

Read the rest of Address to a Haggis here in the original and in modern English.


ROSIE (counselor): Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
ROBERT BURNS (caller): Fair fa’ your honest, soonsie face,
ROSIE: Uh…thank you?
BURNS: Great chieftain o’ the puddin’ race!
ROSIE: You race puddings? What kind of track do you use?