SELF-DEFENSE INSTRUCTOR: What do you do if someone comes at you with a banana?
STUDENT 1: Oi!
STUDENT 3: It’s a pandemic!
STUDENT 2: Put a condom on that thing!
INSTRUCTOR: A condom? On a banana?
STUDENT 2: Fancies ‘imself an instructor.
STUDENT 3: An’ ‘e’s never put a condom on a banana.
STUDENT 2: It’s all I remember from secondary school.
Category: Scenes we’d like to see
Poetry Crisis Lime part 2
Read Part 1 here.
SFX (coconuts): clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop
POETRY CRISIS LIME: Aaaaaagh!
JUICED ORANGE HALVES: It’s only a flesh wound!
HARRY NILSSON: And call me in the mo-orning.
Listen to “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson here.
Did you know that Harry Nilsson supplied the actual coconuts used in Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Read more here.
Circ Desk du Soleil
Watership Dune
Epic Cat Battles of Hissery: The Minister’s Cat vs Schrödinger’s Cat–Round 2
Read Round 1 here.
If The Who were Who
Bukowski and Neruda walk into a bar
Mr. Neruda’s lines are from The Book of Questions, by Pablo Neruda.
Mr. Bukowski’s line is from When Harry Met Sally, by Nora Ephron