SCENE: Three teenage ETTINS (2-headed giants) playing games in a video arcade.
ETTIN 1: LEFT HEAD: I got the high score!
RIGHT HEAD: We got the high score.
ETTIN 2: LEFT: I’m unbeatable!
RIGHT: Gonna trounce you, bro.
ETTIN 3: LEFT: I’m the best!
RIGHT: ‘Cept for me.
ANCIENT GREEK PRETEEN #1: I ship Theseus and Ariadne!
ANCIENT GREEK PRETEEN #2: I ship Theseus and Phaedra!
ANCIENT GREEK PRETEEN #3: You should read my Theseus-slash-Minotaur fanfic!
ANCIENT GREEK PRETEENS 1 and 2: It’s a-maze-balls!
WOMAN WALKING DUCK: New Pet?
WOMAN WALKING KANGAROO: It has pockets!
[unintelligible]*
____
*My name is Itt, and my pronouns are he/him.
Poets answer an age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Seamus Heaney:
Husbandry says “Stay safe
on this side of the street.”
But once in a while
a chicken will rise to her feet
(if she’s not met defeat)
and see that the other side
is reachable from here.
Now she comes near.
[Click here to read an excerpt from The Cure at Troy by Seamus Heaney]
CHIMERA (Lion): What good is having
CHIMERA (Goat): 3 heads
CHIMERA (Snake): from a ssingle sspecies?
CERBERUS (1): One sees the living
CERBERUS (3): One sees the dead
CERBERUS (2): And one sees the souls in between.
CHIMERA (Snake): Sso essentially
CHIMERA (Goat): It’s for chasing
CHIMERA (Lion): Schrodinger’s Cat?
CERBERUS (1): Or, hear me out…
What if you removed
every plank
in the ship of Theseus
and replaced them with
every plank
from the ship of Sisyphus?
CERBERUS (3): Is this going somewhere?
CERBERUS (2): Obviously not.
click here to listen to “Sisyphus” by Andrew Bird. Just because.