COUNSELOR Poetry Crisis Line. What is your emergency?
CALLER: When called by a panther
COUNSELOR: Really? You sound kind of articulate for a big cat.
CALLER: Don’t anther.
COUNSELOR: A little late for that, sir, don’t you think?
COUNSELOR: I see you’re taking your own advice.
COUNSELOR: What if I’m called by a puma?
CALLER: Stay across the rooma?
COUNSELOR: By a bear?
CALLER: Pretend you’re not there.
COUNSELOR: An eagle?
CALLER: Try to sound regal.
COUNSELOR: An elephant?
CALLER: Misplace your celliphant.
COUNSELOR: A snail?
CALLER: Let it go to voicemail.
COUNSELOR: A tyger tyger burning bright?
CALLER: Lock the doors, turn off the lights.
COUNSELOR: A lion?
CALLER: Please stop tryin’.
COUNSELOR: A purple cow?
CALLER: Please stop now.
COUNSELOR: What about a duck-billed platypus?
COUNSELOR: Hello? Are you still there sir?