Story of My Life

Story of My Life


I woke this morning, and had in my mind

the segue I’ve been struggling to find:

I don’t know how I got from there to here

does everything I need it do, and adds

iambical pentameter. I swear,

It makes me happy. And it makes me sad:

A simple honest line I love so much

it’s tragic I can only use it once—

or maybe—can I make it a refrain

that I can use again? Again? Again?

Leonard Cohen calls the Rock & Roll Crisis Line

COUNSELOR: Rock & Roll Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
LEONARD COHEN (caller): They sentenced me to 20 years of boredom
COUNSELOR: That sounds cruel & unusual. What was the charge?
COHEN: For trying to change the system from within.
COUNSELOR: Which administration?
COHEN: I’m coming now
COUNSELOR: Oh. That should just be 4 to 8 years of boredom.
COHEN: I’m coming to reward them.
COUNSELOR: That sounds premature. What are you getting them?
COHEN: First we take Manhattan
COUNSELOR: I thought they had New York locked down.
COHEN: Then we take Berlin!
COUNSELOR: But that’s not–…oh, wait. Do you mean the cities? Or, like…a cocktail and a jelly doughnut?

Joe Biden calls the Policy Crisis Line

From the President’s Joint Address to Congress, April 28, 2021 (paraphrased in the presidential Twitter account).

COUNSELOR: Policy Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
PRESIDENT BIDEN (caller): Trickle-down economics has never worked.
COUNSELOR: So what do you think we should do about it?
BIDEN: It’s time to grow the economy from the ground up and the middle out.
COUNSELOR: Well said! Just once I’d like to hear someone in Washington say that.