A man shot a bird on a boat,
Then helplessly drifted afloat
Until he learned mercy,
But he’d earned this curse–he
Must keep on repeating, by rote:
“A man shot a bird on a boat,
COUNSELOR Poetry Crisis Line. What is your emergency?
COUNSELOR: Are you thirsty, sir?
COUNSELOR: Are you on land? Is there a risk of drowning?
CALLER: …and all the boards…
COUNSELOR: I’m confused. There’s water on your floorboards?
CALLER: …did shrink.
COUNSELOR: I’m not a shrink. I’m working on my MFA.
COUNSELOR: So you ARE thirsty?
CALLER: …water everywhere…
COUNSELOR: Oh, right. Haven’t we been over this?
CALLER: …nor any drop to drink.
COUNSELOR: Sir, I think you’ve had enough to drink already.