Poetry Crisis Valentines 2021

This year’s Poetry Crisis Valentines:

ALLEN GINSBERG
Roses are red,
Mushrooms are crude.
I saw your great mind
starving, mad, nude.

ADRIENNE RICH
Roses are red,
violets are blue;
This is the oppressor’s language,
but I need it with you.

SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE
Some roses are red,
Some roses are pink;
We’re surrounded by water
With nothing to drink.

GWENDOLYN BROOKS
Roses are fed
by insects and worms.
Does Man love Art?
Man visits, but squirms.

WILLIAM BLAKE
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I told not my Love
& how my Love grew!

Roses are dead,
Violets are through.
I told you my love.
I no longer love you.

ALEXANDER POPE
Roses are red,
Shakespear’s a hack.
The hair on your head
Is under attack!

AMANDA GORMAN
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Competent leadership
should not seem so new!

Click here to see Poetry Crisis Valentines from past years.

 

If All Poems Were Limericks: “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A man shot a bird on a boat,
Then helplessly drifted afloat
Until he learned mercy,
But he’d earned this curse–he
Must keep on repeating, by rote:

“A man shot a bird on a boat,
Then…

The Ancient Mariner Calls the Poetry Crisis Line.

COUNSELOR     Poetry Crisis Line. What is your emergency?

CALLER:      Water…

COUNSELOR:      Are you thirsty, sir?

CALLER:      …water…everywhere…

COUNSELOR:      Are you on land? Is there a risk of drowning?

CALLER:      …and all the boards…

COUNSELOR:      I’m confused. There’s water on your floorboards?

CALLER:     …did shrink.

COUNSELOR:      I’m not a shrink. I’m working on my MFA.

CALLER:     Water…

COUNSELOR:      So you ARE thirsty?

CALLER:    …water everywhere…

COUNSELOR:      Oh, right. Haven’t we been over this?

CALLER:     …nor any drop to drink.

COUNSELOR:      Sir, I think you’ve had enough to drink already.