Pope Gregory XIII* calls the Poetry Crisis Line

COUNSELOR: Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
CALLER: Thirty days hath September,
COUNSELOR: Does that rhyme help you remember? Have you tried other innovations? Maybe free association?
CALLER: April,
CALLER: and November.
COUNSELOR: Thanksgiving! Wait, aren’t I supposed to be giving the cues?
CALLER: All the rest
COUNSELOR: OK, so you had the first turn, and now I take–
CALLER: have
COUNSELOR: No, I haven’t started yet. Uh… wait ’til I count to
CALLER: thirty-one,
COUNSELOR: That’s oddly specific.
CALLER: Except for February†
COUNSELOR: Not sure why it would change then, but OK. How are you feeling now?
CALLER: alone.
COUNSELOR: That can be difficult. I’m here to listen.
†And October of 1582, which only had 21 days, because Pope Gregory lost October 5-14 playing checkers with Thoth.

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