Samuel Taylor Coleridge calls the Poetry Crisis Line

COUNSELOR: Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?

CALLER: In Xanadu did Kubla Khan / A stately pleasure-dome decree:

COUNSELOR: No sir, Khan was in Star Trek II; Xanadu starred Olivia Newton-John.

CALLER: Where Alph,

COUNSELOR: ALF was only on TV, sir. I don’t know if his planet was in the Federation.

CALLER: the sacred river, ran

COUNSELOR: –through it?

CALLER: Through caverns measureless to man

COUNSELOR: I think that was in Tremors. Did you just call me to ask about movie trivia?

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