COUNSELOR: Poetry Crisis Line, what is the issue you’re calling for?
CALLER: Four score
COUNSELOR: I’m sorry, sir. I can talk you through your feelings, but that is beyond the scope of this service.
CALLER: and
COUNSELOR: Whatever you’re looking for, I cannot help you score.
CALLER: seven years ago
COUNSELOR: I don’t know who was working the phone lines then.
CALLER: our fathers
COUNSELOR: No kidding! Your dad worked here too?
CALLER: brought forth
COUNSELOR: That’s different. We only have three shifts now.
CALLER: on this continent
COUNSELOR: Oh, I meant work shifts, not plate tectonics.
CALLER: a new nation.
COUNSELOR: That’s some serious continental drift. When did you say your father worked here?
CALLER: dedicated
COUNSELOR: I’m sure he was. Everyone I’ve met here is very dedicated to the job.
CALLER: to the proposition
COUNSELOR: Oh. Uh. . . still trying to score then? Because that’s not something that I–
CALLER: that all men
COUNSELOR: Uh, did you mean #notallmen?
CALLER: are create equal.
COUNSELOR: Well, that’s true. But what about the woman? How do her feelings fit in?
CALLER: Now we are engaged.
COUNSELOR: That was quick.
CALLER: in a civil
COUNSELOR: I mean seriously, a minute ago you were trying to score, and now you’re engaged, and in a civil union?
CALLER: war,
COUNSELOR: What?
CALLER: testing
COUNSELOR: Oh, good. For a moment I thought you were serious. So were you actually talking about the–
CALLER: whether
COUNSELOR: I can’t do anything about that.
CALLER: that nation
COUNSELOR: Uh, is this the same one you were talking about before?
CALLER: or any nation
COUNSELOR: Not very picky, then?
CALLER: so
COUNSELOR: I’m just saying, you might want to stop, smell the roses, get to know this woman you’re talking to before she’s–
CALLER: conceived
COUNSELOR: Already?
CALLER: and so dedicated
COUNSELOR: Yes, you do sound dedicated. I don’t know how anyone can–
CALLER: can long endure.
COUNSELOR: Uh, forgive me for saying this sir, but it sounds to me like it must’ve been lightning quick.