Lewis Carroll calls the Poetry Crisis Line

COUNSELOR: Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?

CALLER: Twas brillig

COUNSELOR: Like you use to scrub pots?

CALLER: …and the slithy toves

COUNSELOR: Those must be hard to get off of cast iron.

CALLER: … did gyre and gimble…

COUNSELOR: Was the gyre widening? Was anything turning and turning within it?

CALLER: …in the wabe.

COUNSELOR: No, I mean the gyre.

CALLER: All mimsey were the borogoves

COUNSELOR: That’s nice

CALLER: And the mome raths outgrabe.


CALLER: Beware the jabberwock…

COUNSELOR: How is that different from a regular wok? Is it harder to clean?

CALLER: my son

COUNSELOR: Yeah, it’s important to teach kids to cook, but they can make a big mess.

CALLER: The jaws that bite…

COUNSELOR: Oh, is he a little kid?

CALLER: …the claws that catch.

COUNSELOR: With poor impulse control?

CALLER: Beware the jubjub bird,

COUNSELOR: Yeah, I don’t recommend teaching your pet to cook.
CALLER: and shun–

COUNSELOR: It’s not shunning, it’s just…animals and fire? Never a good idea.

CALLER: The frumious bandersnatch.

COUNSELOR: What did you just call me?

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