More Mythical Waterfowl
- Loonicorn
- Jormungander
- Cormoranticore
- The Flying Duckman
- The Spheagull
- The Sphuck
Category: Gods & Monsters
The Ship of Cerberus
CERBERUS (1): Or, hear me out…
What if you removed
every plank
in the ship of Theseus
and replaced them with
every plank
from the ship of Sisyphus?
CERBERUS (3): Is this going somewhere?
CERBERUS (2): Obviously not.
click here to listen to “Sisyphus” by Andrew Bird. Just because.
Lesser-Known Mythical Waterfowl
Lesser-Known Mythical Waterfowl
- Cerberduck
- Meducksa
- Ducknir
- Duckatrice
- Firedrake
- Hyduck
- Duckthulhu
- Ammut the Duckvourer
- Ouroborgoose
Vergil Meets Cerberus
VERGIL: Here, Cerberus, with triple-throated roar, / Made all the region ring, and there he lay—
CERBERUS (1): Excuse me
CERBERUS (2): And me
CERBERUS (3): And me
CERBERUS: Our pronouns are
CERBERUS (1): They/
CERBERUS (2): Them/
CERBERUS (3): Their.
VERGIL: Here, Cerberus, with triple throated roar, / Made all the region ring, and there they lay.
CERBERUS: Good boy.
H.D. calls the Poetry Crisis Line
From “Helen” by H.D.
SOFIA (counselor): Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
H.D. (caller): All Greece hates the still eyes in the white face.
SOFIA: Is the E.U. pushing austerity again? It worked so well the last time.
Ozymandias calls the Poetry Crisis Line as William Carlos Williams eats a tire.
WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS (counselor): Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
OZYMANDIAS (caller): Look on my works, ye mighty , and DESPAIR!
WILLIAMS: I have eaten de spare that was in the icebox.
Any resemblance between Ozymandias and actual arrogant despots approaching irrelevancy is purely intentional.
The Cure at Troy call the Poetry Crisis Line
JERRY (counselor): Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
THE CURE (chorus): Human beings suffer
JERRY: Philosophers have written a great deal on the question of why people suffer.
THE CURE: They torture one another
JERRY: That is one reason.
Excerpted from The Cure at Troy by Seamus Heaney.
If All Poems Were Limericks: The Cure at Troy
Based on an excerpt from The Cure at Troy by Seamus Heaney
Don’t hope on this side of the grave;
there’s no guarantee you’ll be saved—
but now and again
(you never know when)
justice comes like a fifty-foot wave.
Epic Cat Battles of Hissery: The Minister’s Cat vs Schrödinger’s Cat–Round 2
Read Round 1 here.
Schrödinger’s Cat in the Hat
Can’t decide if you should be cute or spooky this Halloween?
Try a costume that’s two things at the same time!
