Before I Kill You
(an arch-villainelle)
[originally published in Stone Telling]
(parts 1-2 of 6)
Although I’m not particularly vain,
I’m sure you’d like to know how you will die,
so, first, before I kill you, I’ll explain
my brilliant plan. Don’t bother to complain;
you won’t escape, no matter how you try.
It’s not that I’m particularly vain,
it’s just that after taking all these pains
I would like you to look me in the eye
before I kill you, so I can explain:
Before I Kill You
(an arch-villainelle)
[originally published in Stone Telling]
(part 1 of 6)
Although I’m not particularly vain
I’m sure you’d like to know how you will die,
so first, before I kill you, I’ll explain
my brilliant plan. Don’t bother to complain.
Story of My Life
I woke this morning, and had in my mind
the segue I’ve been struggling to find:
I don’t know how I got from there to here
does everything I need it do, and adds
iambical pentameter. I swear,
It makes me happy. And it makes me sad:
A simple honest line I love so much
it’s tragic I can only use it once—
or maybe—can I make it a refrain
that I can use again? Again? Again?
A rabbit, a lamb, and a duck
were trying to flag down a truck
full of colorful eggs—
the lamb stuck out her leg
and barely missed being lamb chuck.
A duck asked a lamb and a rabbit
while dyeing eggs, “Golly dagnabit,
why on earth do we task
ourselves with filling bask-
ets each year?” and the rabbit said, “Habit.”
A rabbit, a duck, and a lamb
met a pig, and they started to jam.
“Don’t try to outdo him,”
a spider who knew him
said. “He’s an INCREDIBLE ham.”
Why do birds tap upon my door
And declare “Nevermore”?
Just like me, they long to read
Poe to you.
Why do bells never seem to cease?
I can’t get any peace.
Just like me, they want to read
Poe to you.
In the cellar there’s a cask
Of aged amontillado; I
Invited you to come and have a drink,
Then I bricked you up inside the wall
and then installed a toilet and a sink.
Aaah, aaaaaah, poe to you,
Aaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! poe to you.
Now your heart beats beneath the floor—
I can hear through the boards.
Just like me, it longs to read
Poe to you.
Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Poe to you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
