Author: admin

Battle of the Gravelly Voices (round 4)

LEONARD COHEN: It’s 4 in the morning, the end of December.
TOM WAITS: All night long on the broken glass
COHEN: I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better
WAITS: Livin’ in a medicine chest
COHEN: New York is cold , but I like where I’m living
WAITS: Mediterranean hotel sprawled across a roll top desk
COHEN: There’s music on Clinton Street all through the evening
WAITS: The monkey rode the blade on an overhead fan / They paint the donkey blue if you pay*
COHEN: I hear that you’re building your little house deep in the desert
WAITS: I got a telephone call from Istanbul
COHEN: You’re living for nothing now
WAITS: My baby’s coming home today!
[PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE (They Might Be Giants): If you’ve got a date in Constantinople she’ll be waiting in Istanbul!]
COHEN: I hope you’re keeping some kind of record
WAITS: Will you sell me one of those if I shave my head?
COHEN: Yes. And…Jane came by with a lock of your hair.
WAITS: Get me out of town

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*If you choose to paint your ass, please use a non-toxic paint.

Battle of the Gravelly Voices: Leonard Cohen vs Tom Waits (round 3)

LEONARD COHEN: It’s 4 in the morning, the end of December.
TOM WAITS: All night long on the broken glass
COHEN: I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better
WAITS: Livin’ in a medicine chest
COHEN: New York is cold , but I like where I’m living
WAITS: Mediterranean hotel sprawled across a roll top desk
COHEN: There’s music on Clinton Street all through the evening
WAITS: The monkey rode the blade on an overhead fan / They paint the donkey blue if you pay*
COHEN: I hear that you’re building your little house deep in the desert
WAITS: I got a telephone call from Istanbul
COHEN: You’re living for nothing now
WAITS: My baby’s coming home today!
[PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (They Might Be Giants): If you’ve got a date in Constantinople she’ll be waiting in Istanbul!]

___

*If you choose to paint your ass, please use a non-toxic paint.

Battle of the Gravelly Voices (Waits vs Cohen) round 2

LEONARD COHEN: It’s 4 in the morning, the end of December.
TOM WAITS: All night long on the broken glass
COHEN: I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better
WAITS: Livin’ in a medicine chest
COHEN: New York is cold , but I like where I’m living
WAITS: Mediterranean hotel sprawled across a roll top desk
COHEN: There’s music on Clinton Street all through the evening
WAITS: The monkey rode the blade on an overhead fan / They paint the donkey blue if you pay*

___

*If you choose to paint your ass, please use a non-toxic paint.

The Battle of the Gravelly Voices: Leonard Cohen vs Tom Waits (round 1)

LEONARD COHEN: It’s 4 in the morning, the end of December.
TOM WAITS: All night long on the broken glass
COHEN: I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better
WAITS: Livin’ in a medicine chest

Clement Clarke Moore and/or Major Henry Livingston, Jr, call the Poetry Crisis Line (part 6)

CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE: We had just settled down
MAJ. HENRY LIVINGSTON, JR: For our long winter’s nap.
ROSIE (counselor): You mean like a bear?

[For earlier installments of this series, click here.]

 

The Fanta Menace

CUSTOMER (dressed as Leia): Can I get a Coke, please?
CONCESSIONER (dressed as Palpatine): That is not the drink you’re looking for.
CUSTOMER: Pepsi is fine.
CONCESSIONER: We have no Pepsi.
CUSTOMER: Mountain Dew?
CONCESSIONER: Try or try not, there is no Dew.
CUSTOMER: What do you have?
CONCESSIONER: Fruit-flavored soft drinks only. Hahahahahahahaha!

SECOND CONCESSIONER (dressed like stormtrooper, missing cup): Damn.