J. Alfred Prufrock calls the Poetry Crisis Line

ROSIE (COUNSELOR): Poetry Crisis Line, what is your emergency?
J. ALFRED PRUFROCK: Should I part my hair behind?
ROSIE: What you do with your behind in private is your business. No matter how hairy it is.
PRUFROCK: Do I dare to eat a peach?
ROSIE: Wash your hands first.
PRUFROCK: I shall wear white flannel trousers and walk upon the beach.
ROSIE: If it makes you comfortable. But don’t be ashamed of your hairy behind.

Read the original here. Or check out this exquisite illustrated version by Julian Peters.

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